he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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