Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
