Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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