Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
