Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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