You work out of a Hotel?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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