no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
