I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
