Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
