What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just pee around me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
