i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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