if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
