ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Everyone says I win the strip club
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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