Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
