hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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