Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
