he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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