Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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