Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
