You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
