dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
