if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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