I saw his package. It spoke to me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just want nice things and good sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
