yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
