i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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