If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Terrible idea I love it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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