Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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