I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
