Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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