oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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