I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
