I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
