She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's Friday. Sex?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
