I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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