I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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