FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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