Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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