I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
