Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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