Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
