Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
two words: eviction party
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
