is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
