I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
