:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
