Pants 0. Shit 1.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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