i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
