We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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