So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
