If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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