Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's official drugs can't kill me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
