Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
